I ordered some software through a very well-known company online for Christmas. ALL RIGHT-- if you must know, it was screen saver software of TROPICAL FISH, okay? Anyway, I ordered it around December 9th through this EXTREMELY POPULAR COMPANY that ONLY sells online, thinking it surely would make it to me by Christmas. They even had the little notation on the page of the software, "expected arrival -- two days."

But, as you will see in a moment, that software had a rather fruitless journey to my house. I'd been keeping track of it's adventure as it apparently was carried to my porch...then driven away.

My concern started when I observed for NINE LONG DAYS that my package was sitting there in Romulus, Missouri. Romulus? Was someone making this up? You can see that on December 13 the "US Carrier was notified to pick up" my package, but clearly, they ignored it for some time.

For those nine long days, I emailed this popular online store. Where is my package? Who the US Carrier and how do I notify them? What is wrong with my package that they won't just PICK IT UP? What IS GOING ON in ROMULUS that makes my package unable to be moved? I received standard emails of "oh, it's Christmas time, bear with us" but the fact remainded that my fish software was being brushed off and housed without my permission in a stinky warehouse in Romulus.

Interestingly, around the 19th, I received a note from the company that said they had come the assumption that my package had been "lost" and they would send another fish software to me at no extra charge (well that was mighty big of them). I sat back to see which one would arrive to my house first, if any.

Finally on December 20, I logged in to see that my original package had finally made it from Missouri to California and was "in transit." Was it traveling by horse? Getting closer but with four days to go till Christmas Eve, I was becoming concerned, especially if the second package came the same route as the first one. Could this second package successful bypass Romulus, which appeared to be some sort of postal purgatory?

On the 22nd, I began to get hopeful that the first package would arrive. I also got greedy. If both packages arrived here, what would happen if I kept them both? Would I be charged twice? Would they even check up on the first package? What exactly would one do with two tropical fish screen saver softwares? What does fish software go for these days on E-bay anyway?

The 23rd. It was a Friday, and although I don't quite recall what I was doing that day, I know it didn't include anything to do with wrapping up fish software. The evening of the 23rd, I checked the status online once again.

Oh yeah, it came to Port Orchard all right. And then the dreaded words, "DELIVERY ATTEMPT-- RECIPIENT NOT HOME."

WHAT?

Since when did they care that I wasn't home? How about the other hundreds of dollars worth of junk I'd ordered for the holidays that they'd left on various parts of my porch? How about all the early mornings I was wakened by the sound of my door bell ringing and a UPS guy tearing out of my driveway as he threw my dumb little dog treats? No one cared if I was home.

Resigning to the fact that my husband was likely to get one less gift for Christmas, I didn't even consider that the second package might actually make it by the holiday. Sure enough though, as the kids were excitely getting ready for their annual trip to the great-grandparent's house for Christmas Eve, I heard something drop on my porch, much like the sound of fish screen saver software hitting a deck.

Package number two had made it. Christmas Gift solved!

So, as you can see, my package sat in Port Orchard for awhile, nearly two weeks, before it headed back out of town to Cincinnati, bypassing Romulus it appears, and delivered back to Kentucky where it now sits waiting for a new adventure.

Jan 16, 2006 08:12:00 AM CAMPBELLSVILLE KY US Delivered
Jan 13, 2006 12:11:00 AM CINCINNATI OH US In transit
Jan 12, 2006 10:31:00 PM CINCINNATI OH US In transit
Jan 06, 2006 07:56:00 AM FEDERAL WAY WA US In transit
Jan 05, 2006 04:03:00 PM PORT ORCHARD WA US ---
Dec 23, 2005 01:34:00 PM PORT ORCHARD WA US Delivery attempted - recipient not home
Dec 23, 2005 02:33:00 AM PORT ORCHARD WA US Arrival Scan
Dec 22, 2005 11:42:00 AM FEDERAL WAY WA US In transit
Dec 20, 2005 10:19:00 AM RICHMOND CA US In transit
Dec 13, 2005 --- US Carrier notified to pick up package
Dec 11, 2005 03:46:00 PM ROMULUS MI US Arrival Scan
- posted by Christine @ 4:23 PM

 
Just wasting time tonight.

Bored? Build a better Bush.

World's highest bridge!

The first internet banner ad.

Longest running light bulb.

And just for kicks, how about calculating your life expectancy?

Looks like I have 52 years left.
- posted by Christine @ 9:58 PM

 
I don't usually get to see the Ellen show, though the few times I've watched it, it's pretty funny.

This was great too, check out the bad school photos section.
- posted by Christine @ 9:16 PM

 
Happy 2006!

A couple funny links:

Polaroid prank

If you can handle some bad language, The Winning Lottery Ticket! is comical.

I know Siskel and Ebert didn't seem to like eachother very much when discussing which direction their thumb should turn for a movie, but judging by this clip, I'd say they there was a lot more where that came from.
- posted by Christine @ 11:27 PM