Lately I've been thinking about how I've been trained to do certain things, and that I've gone through the motions of learning these things, yet don't really know them.

For example, in high school I taught swimming lessons to fourth graders for an entire year. Now you'd think "she must really be a good swimmer then" or, at least, "surely she knows how to swim." Yes, I can swim, just not very well. I don't particularly like water, and get a bit creeped out by deep water. I always hated jumping off the diving boards, and I can't swim without goggles. When I'm done putting my head in the water, I run for a towel because the water is stinging my eyes, and I'm coughing from water up my nose. But in high school, when it came time to "try out" for teaching swimming lessons, I guess I faked it pretty well, and they trusted me with young children in water.

When it would come time to work on diving, I'd have a kid in the group that actually knew *how* to dive be an example for the rest of the kids. All in the name of boosting his esteem, right?

Or here's another example, driving instruction. I spent a year taking classes to get a teaching endorsement in traffic safety. I even spent some time in the passenger side of a car with a young student behind the wheel in Seattle. I even, wow, taught driver's ed for a summer to non-suspecting 15-year-olds, that thought I knew what I was talking about. I guess when it comes to teaching what's in a textbook, I do okay. But anyone that's been on the road with me (especially my Dept of Licensing husband) call tell you that I'm not the greatest driver, and I certainly can't park worth a darn. I even managed to get my van's passenger side rear view mirror bashed into recently because I didn't park in the space correctly.

Even when it comes to teaching my son how to read, I've had several people say to me, "Oh that must be easy for you with your teaching certificate and all." It's almost embarrasing to say that I minored in, you guessed it, reading. But I'm no different than any other parent of a kindergartner, doing flashcards for my son with star stickers. You'd think I would have learned something a bit more creative in college. I'm sure I did--I just don't remember it.

Sigh...it's a bit frustrating.

I saw a man I know in the local Wal-Mart the other day. I said hello, but he seemed pre-occupied with finding something down one of the aisles.

A few minutes later, my husband I saw him bolting down the main aisle loaded up with various sizes of red gas cans. We're not talking three or four, I mean, probably more like 15.

My husband shakes his head, "Looks like he's getting ready to burn something."

My husband doesn't think I'm very funny, so when I laugh at comments like that, he can't understand why.

The other night we were watching Jay Leno and he had some contestants on there that Jay was asking rather easy questions to, and they were getting them wrong. Well, one of the questions had the answer of "Remember the Alamo."

My husband couldn't believe I didn't know the answer to that one. Sure I've heard that phrase before, but I wouldn't have gotten *that* answer correct. I'm certainly no history buff.

Not a moment goes by and my husband leans over and starts jotting something down in his infamous notebook next to the bed. He writes for a few minutes, then turns off the light and TV, and goes to sleep.

I lay there for a second and then say, "What did you just write down?"

"Stuff," he replies.

"Wouldn't it be funny," I say, "If you get up and go to work tomorrow, and I peek in your notebook, and you're written "Remember the Alamo" over and over? Kind of like Jack Nicholson in "The Shining"? You know...the all work and no play thing...The Shining...remember?"

"Goodnight," he says.
- posted by Christine @ 1:45 PM

 
This was an entertaining read "Postal Experiments."

I just can't imagine going to any of my local post offices and handing something like an unwrapped deer tibia over the counter and expecting them to mail it for me. Just the other day, the postal guy wouldn't send my Priority Envelope to my in-laws because he said there was too much of a gap in the folding seam, which is really frustrating seeing as how I'm notorious for cramming as much stuff as I can into those Priority Envelopes for "one standard fee." He made me get a big envelope and put it inside, costing me about seven dollars more.

I like the part of the article where they try to mail a brick in a brown paper bag. The brick arrives some time later, smashed up, with a US Drug Enforcement Agency release slip attached. Whoops.
- posted by Christine @ 8:55 PM

 
My 6-year-old son has never been much of a television watcher. And if he does watch TV, he mostly requests that the news be on. If it's not an actual news show, such as the local 5 o'clock news, then he calls it "fake news" (such as Dateline or Larry King, something like that). Which is funny since the news usually just puts him to sleep.

Last night he hauled a radio into his room and turned on the local news channel. He and his sister fought for awhile about what they were going to listen to while going to sleep (she prefers sappy love music channels).

So on each side of the bed, they had their radios playing. It's amazing anyone got to sleep.

Anyway, my son has finally found a TV show he likes on the Learning Channel every morning. It's called Peep and the Big World. Problem is, he doesn't mention the "and the big world" part when talking about it, so he just called it "Peep Show." Hopefully no one will question him on it.
- posted by Christine @ 6:02 PM

 
I found this article in our local newspaper today about the school district once again pushing around the idea of making a second high school for our district.

What's funny is that they were saying that when I started school there 19 years ago, and I believe it was even discussed before that. They were few advantages to attending such a large highschool that I could figure out while I there. Maybe more classes were offered, more clubs to belong to. Our football team was considered a good one. The disadvantages were a bit more concerning, such as being stuck in a "flow" of traffic in the hallways, something that a short person, such as myself, had a hard time maneuvering through. Not enough student parking. Larger class sizes.

Now that my stepson is attending school there, it's even worse. Instead of the two people crammed into a locker when I went there, now it's four. I can't even imagine what the hallways are like now. I do have to admit however the list of just computer classes alone that are being offered there is quite impressive. Something a small school probably couldn't pull off.

For purely selfish reasons, I'd like another high school built before my children have to go to school. Just think of how much larger it's going to be in 10 years. More teaching jobs in the area would open up. I like that.
- posted by Christine @ 10:04 PM